Our Groundhog Day

Posted May 17, 2005 in Events, Miscellaneous, Personal.

A groundhog has been leaving holes in our back garden. Since we are going to be tidying up the yard over the next few weeks, we've decided to have the animal removed by a professional service. I gather clubbing them to death with a baseball bat is considered inhumane, so we'll be paying for it to be “relocated” to a new habitat.


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    Well, I have about a thousand of them in the farm across from my house, so bring him to West Norriton.

    Posted by Stephen Collins on May 17, 2005.

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    Thanks for the offer, Stephen, but I've no idea where the trap doodz will be relocating the bloody thing. They had to show me how to reset the trap if some dumbass squirrel wanders into it or something.

    Posted by Simon Jessey on May 17, 2005.

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    Interesting fact: Groundhogs are referred to as "whistle pigs" in some areas of the American South. Don't ask me why.

    Posted by Graham on May 17, 2005.

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    Yeah, I heard about the "whistle pig" thing. I think they're also called "woodchucks" in some places. I just call them "fucking annoying rodent-things that fucked-up my fucking lawn".

    Posted by Simon Jessey on May 17, 2005.

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    Around here, a woodchuck is like a small squirrel.

    Posted by Stephen Collins on May 17, 2005.

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    So far, all we've managed to catch in the trap is a bird and a squirrel. Something managed to get in there and eat the strawberries without tripping the trap mechanism. We can put guys on the moon, but we can't get rid of a stupid groundhog without a major song and dance, it seems.

    Posted by Simon Jessey on May 19, 2005.

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    It's nice of you to go the extra mile, and not just to the poor thing.

    I live in the South West (Las Vegas, to exact) in an area that is still being developed. Right next door, there is a huge area that is still untouched full of critters. I don’t mind if they wander onto the property. I think it’s kind of cute. Makes me feel, I am part of nature. Of course, I don’t have a lawn to protect. Nothing green grows here unless you dump a million gallons of water on it every year.

    “In a world gone mad, only the lunatic are truly insane.”
    - Homer Simpson

    Posted by Bald Eagle on May 26, 2005.

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    We haven't managed to catch the animal yet. Yesterday, it ran across the street in front of my car, but I missed the opportunity to waste the fucking thing because I hesitated.

    Don't get me wrong, I think groundhogs are PESTS. They are nothing more than big-ass rodents that dig craters in my backyard. The only reason that I haven't put down poison is because I don't want to kill one of the domestic animals in the area.

    Posted by Simon Jessey on May 27, 2005.